Committed to a Life of Service

Jesus’s Scars

American King James Version Luke 24:39

Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit has not flesh and bones, as you see me have.

Life scars

In Elementary I was labeled Special need because I was a slow learner and had a terrible stutter when I spoke.  Every now and then that disability manifests itself and I'm emotionally reminded of the scar and have to chose to remember who I’ve become.

The other day my wife and I were talking.  I became frustrated because I couldn't get a word out no matter how hard I tried.  Those moments are extremely embarrassing and often remind me of my past learning disabilities.   My wife understands and loves me through those moments, reminding me of who am, the person I am today is built on top of those emotional scars and I am stronger because of them.  

Marital scars

In the present tense, I believe that God would not have brought us this far to leave us.  As I look back I know now that God first loved me so that I may knowingly love unconditionally.

Before we began the true healing process I became increasingly wary of everything.  I was tired of fighting, fighting for us, for our family, for God's plan. I finally decided to give in… I didn't give up but I did give in to what seemed to be inevitable. The universe had tried to keep us apart, God had become quiet and didn't seem to care about the struggles I was facing.  In faith, I know that God is not silent. He feels my pain and understands what our testimony will mean to His people.

If I’m not careful that memory of past hurts might cause me to believe the pain is once again real.   Our love story begins with the hand of God, unfortunately so does our sorrow. I’m not blaming God for what has happened because the choices were ours to make. “If you want to show her what true love is, you will stay.”  The trick is getting past the pain of the betrayal to understand why and how to love again.